Apr. 9th, 2017

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I could talk more about 2016 constantly at the doctor for this that and the other; I could go back into my head and rethink how devastated I still am about Leonard Cohen and Carrie Fisher (WTF? WTF? WTMFF? I'm not over it) or about “President T****” and how much debt I'm still in from Haku's surgeries and this really ill-advised trip to Disney (that I planned BEFORE last year's surgeries) and my own anxiety, and anxiety about leaving the dogs again when we go, or that that the town canceled my summer Hula class (that I was going to get paid nicely for :/ ) and how much I still miss Kung Fu and my friends and, and, and.

But, damn it, no. It's April and this is Dreamwidth and a fresh start, so!

I'm taking my soon-to-be four year old to Disneyworld next month, and how awesome is that? Hashtag blessed, that's how awesome.

It's going to be 70 degrees next week??

There's planets? TRAPPIST-7 exists and that is so rad!

I recently got the most excellent fanart from a fanfic I wrote ages ago.

My book is out on submission! If you had told me five years ago that I'd be the lady who lives by the sea, about to take her 4 year old to Disney, waiting to hear back from her agent about her book that's being pitched to Random Penguin right now? I mean I'd about have DIED, you know?

I've been cleaning the yard – this is good. I haven't done it since before Callum was born, because I just couldn't; there was no time, no way to get it done. But now he's almost 4, and I can take him outside and he'll mostly play with his toys while I cut down vines and rake leaves and shit. It's hard work, I mean – like really super hard, because I let all of this go for about 5 years and it's a jungle of bittersweet and wisteria. I don't mind the wisteria except it eats everything in its path. Bittersweet is an asshole, I straight up plain hate it. So this is a real shit show and it's not even a quarter of the way done. And I have to cover myself and Callum in IR3535 (tick repellent) because Lyme and Powassan and RMSF are super real, and all the crawling around in Tick Country freaks me TF out, and the bending and twisting to get the roots up are kind of hurting my back. But it's not as bad as I thought – and I actually feel better? Like, less pain in other places, idk. I haven't moved in so long.

I really wish I hadn't read this article about a lady dying from an abdominal aneurism while running a marathon, because I was thinking about starting to jog again. I have to do something. I miss Kung Fu. There's a school about 30 minutes away and I talk to the Sifu on Instagram every time he posts something. “Oh, I remember that form!” “Broadsword, my fave!” “I love that drill!” and he's always like “COME DOWN AND TRAIN, WE WANT YOU,” but the money doesn't exist in this universe or any parallel universe.

Someday, though. Really, someday.

It's weird how these days you have to second guess everyone like, “but how awful would it be if I went there and made friends and then found out they'd voted for T****?” This is a real issue. Isn't that terrible?

Well anyway, the weather is about 60 today, and 70s for the next 3 days! I have to work, but that's cool; I can get outside when I come home. Do more yardwork, take some time sitting on the deck with Callum and the dogs, blowing bubbles, listening to music, taking pics. Disney in a few weeks, and then summer and those glorious beach days after that.

And yeah I'm always afraid of what comes next – with two old dogs, negative money, various other dramas. But I used to deal with all of my shit way better, I think. When I look back at my old LJ, like before Gran and Dad passed? I totally dealt with my shit way better. So I'm going to try to get there again for sure.

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