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[personal profile] la_belle_laide
I'd give so much right now to pet Haku again. I would scratch his neck and behind his ears and put my face on top of his head because he always smelled nice. And after a few seconds he would put his nose on my arm or my sleeve and take a big breath with his cold nose. He could twitch his nose to both sides. He would press his head between your knees when he got stressed, we used to say "Haku has to plug in and recharge."

I can't believe he's gone. Every time he had to go to the vet, or had a seizure, I would tell him "I'm right here. I'm with you every step of the way." It was the last thing I said to him last night right before he died.

I had to tell Callum when he woke up first thing in the morning. I watched his sweet little face crumble as he looked over to where Haku's bed used to be. Then he climbed into my lap and cried quietly for about fifteen minutes. He keeps asking me why things have to die, and if we'll ever be happy again.

The well of grief has so many angles, and it just seems bottomless.


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